Bob and 84 Women??!??

The ribbing from the guys on the basketball court was relentless after they discovered that I had signed up to attend the Central Church women’s retreat. The ladies’ leadership team, the directiva, invited me to go along after a doctor had asked them if he could go in order to take a short break. Since we help him run the Central couples’ ministry, I felt that this would be a good chance to spend some time with him.

Judy, a member of the directiva, had been preparing for this two-night retreat for months. Since Dominican women love to dress up, the second night would be a gala event with everyone dressed in red. The theme that night would be Daughters of the King—a part of the overall theme, Breaking the Habit of Worrying.

As the preparations advanced, being a bit dense and cheap, I complained when Judy sat down in front of the computer and placed an order for 84 plastic princess tiaras. I wasn’t sure what a tiara was, but it sure seemed to be just fluff—an unnecessary expense.

The evening before we left for the retreat I packed the car with tiaras and more girly stuff. The president of the directiva was there, and she handed me $80 for the crowns, but I couldn’t take it. I knew this retreat was costing them a lot more in both time and money than they had anticipated. However, I still wasn’t sure why we had to buy the crowns.

At the hotel, I carried in the sound equipment and helped to set up the conference room. I even went to a few of the sessions, when I wasn’t talking to the doctor. The ladies were attentively listening to how to trust in God—the God who is our Peace in the midst of difficulty.

On the second day of the retreat, Judy gave an early morning devotional. She spoke to the ladies about trusting God to slay the giants in our lives, using Numbers 14 as her text. She shared how almost 20 years earlier, God had used those verses to convince her to marry me. While Judy prepared for a Haitian Sunday school class, she sensed God speaking to her. She noted Joshua and Caleb’s exhortation to the Israelites to enter the Promised Land without fear of the giants. The land was good, and God had given it to them. Through this passage, God encouraged Judy to set aside her fear and enter the good land (of marriage to me!).

Even though the ladies had stayed up late, all the fatigue was forgotten as they listened to Judy’s story of trusting God. They began clapping, praising God, and cheering for Judy and me! The Dominicans love the romantic stuff—more so when God works to make it happen.

The evening of the gala, I saw red everywhere. It made me wish that I had on a bright red Kurt Warner Arizona Cardinals’ jersey so I could at least blend in with the ladies. As the ladies entered the room, they were greeted warmly as daughters of the King. We sang praises to the King of Kings, followed by several surprise videos—affirming interviews of husbands and children. The loving affirmations resulted in cheers and tears.

And then, they brought out the crowns. As they crowned each other, a foretaste of the day that we will be crowned by our LORD Jesus Christ, they projected verses on power point that spoke of the crowns that He will hand out. James 1:12 was the first, “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

And I was touched. Finally, I understood the importance of the crowns, and the power of their symbolism, in the lives of these ladies who are joyfully serving the Lord in spite of difficult circumstances. Looking at their smiling faces, I thought of their day-to-day lives. As Judy has worked with the women, and the two of us have counseled a few of the couples in the church, we have become aware of their struggles. Some live with the on-going pain of divorce; others live daily in unhappy marriages. Some have faced cancer and live with the fear of its return. Others live in economic uncertainty because of unemployment.

Yet this preview of heaven’s reward created in them a tremendous sense of joy and unity, and a sense that even though they may suffer for awhile, God has tremendous rewards for them.

The Sunday before the retreat, our pastor had preached on “Fireproofing Families”. During the sermon, he stated, “You need to enter into the world of your spouse.” Right before we left the retreat to return home, I saw his wife and repeated that line to her. At that point she called her husband on her cell phone and said, “Bob has something he wants to say to you”.

I told him over the phone and later at the basketball court in front of the other guys, “I have entered into the world of my spouse, and God has been very good to me.”